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On Angel Wings, She Flies

This is the hardest thing that we will ever share, but we share our story for two reasons: The most important is to honor the love and happiness that our baby brought into our lives. The other reason is that we will begin to heal as we share. On April 13, 2017 my husband and I found out we were expecting our first baby. The emotions we felt that day will never be forgotten. On May 8th, we had our first appointment and we got to see and hear our baby's heartbeat. Our doctor said everything looked good, and we could not believe our official due date was Christmas Day!

On June 1st, we had another appointment, and that's the day my heart began to break. I knew right away something wasn't right on the ultrasound. Our doctor said "cystic hygroma". There was fluid building up around the baby's neck, which usually means a chromosome abnormality or possible miscarriage. She referred us to a genetic specialist.

On June 2nd we went to see the genetics doctor who did another ultrasound. This test confirmed a large cystic hygroma. We were told there where three possible outcomes: 1) miscarriage, 2) our baby could be born with a chromosome abnormality like Down syndrome or Turner syndrome, or 3) the cystic hygroma could go away on its own and the baby would be fine (10% chance). We went home heartbroken, but with a small ounce of hope left. If I didn't have a miscarriage, we would go back in 4 weeks and have another appt to check on our baby.

Those 4 weeks felt like years. They felt like torture. On Monday, June 26th, we went back for another ultrasound. Our baby's heart was still beating, but the cystic hygroma had become larger and now she had developed fetal hydrops (fluid around other body parts). She was also beginning to swell which didn't allow the vital organs to develop properly. We were told that our daughter was dying. A few days later, on Thursday, June 29th, our baby left us and went to heaven.

The physical pain will never compare to the pain in my heart. I carried our precious baby for 14 weeks and 3 days and just like that, she was gone. And although our time together was shorter than we expected, it made us parents and changed our lives forever. We now have an angel baby. After our baby passed, we got the results of our genetic testing. She had Turner syndrome. Like most people, this was the first time we heard of this genetic condition and I've made it a point to spread awareness. I know that our baby is in heaven and that she is ok. Celeste will always live in our hearts.

Since the writing of this story last year, Christina and her husband have welcomed their daughter Cecilia, into their family in August of 2018.


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